These days, as we commemorate the international campaign ’16 Days of Activism Against Gender-Based Violence’ and femicide as one of the most severe forms of violence, and when religious communities join in their appeals against family violence, statements from certain religious authorities and influencers have appeared in the media suggesting that a Muslim man can beat his wife, but only after exhausting other methods of persuasion to make her obedient.
One of the social media influencers is Elvedin Pezić, a representative of the Wahhabi strain of Islam, known for its strict and restrictive literal interpretations of faith. He has hundreds of thousands of followers, and unfortunately, a hundred of thousands of followers believe in him. Like many other missionaries, Pezić efficiently uses social media, filling the void left by the Islamic community whose messages are often unclear and unattractive. Pezić shares brief and clear recipes for a good marriage that should be based on a woman’s obedience to a man. There’s no reasoning, philosophy, or too many arguments; just a simple tried-and-tested recipe: there is a head of the household to whom women and children owe obedience. When things are arranged in this way, supposedly everything works, harmony prevails, everyone is happy and content, and especially God, as supposedly ordained woman to be subordinate to men.”
Although on social media, Pezić says that violence against women should generally be avoided, in his video lectures, he refers to a Quranic text: ‘As for those from whom you fear disobedience, admonish them and send them to beds apart and strike them. Then if they obey you, take no further action against them. Surely, God is most High, Most Great.’ (Quran 4:34)
‘Men are responsible for protecting and providing for their wives. Each of them has been endowed by Allah with capabilities for fulfilling their respective roles. Men provide for the family’s needs from their own wealth. Honorable and virtuous women manage the household and take care of the family in their husbands’ absence. And Allah safeguards them for that. Those women whose misconduct you fear, advise them, and then leave them alone in their beds and separate from them. And when they repent and stop neglecting their duties and misconduct, then do not treat them unjustly! Surely, Allah is Exalted in Might and Great in Forgiveness!'”
His interpretation of the qur’anic text is that a man, for disciplinary purposes, must apply the first two steps: advise the woman, separate from her in bed, that is, deny her intimacy, and only then strike her, but not on the face so that marks remain.
A normal person remains shocked by such an understanding of a text that is patriarchal and addresses men with advice on how to deal with women. Women believers wonder how it is possible that God, who is Merciful and Compassionate and who rewards and punishes everyone according to their merit, gives such control to men over women? How is it possible to believe in such a God who a priori assumes that a woman is less valuable than a man, that she should be obedient to the man, and that he has control over her life?
Unfortunately, many Muslim men and women believe that this text should be translated, understood, and applied literally. Although some imams deliver sermons and lectures on the incompatibility of violence against women and children with Islamic principles of justice and mercy, there are many who support the concept of a woman’s obedience to the man and the physical disciplining of a woman until she becomes obedient.
I’ll provide an example from hafiz Senaid Zajimović, who says: “The husband is the head and master of the household and family – because of his natural ability and responsibility to provide for the family. He has the right to demand obedience and cooperation from his wife, so she is not allowed to rebel against his authority, causing discord. Without a helmsman, the ship of the household will stumble and sink.”
After that, he explains that a woman’s rebelion to things she is obliged to do in marriage gives the man the right to discipline her: first advise her, separate from her in bed, and then strike her, but according to his understanding, it should not be in a state of anger, although it is not written anywhere in which state a man should strike his wife.
If we know anything about human relationships and emotions, it is clear that most people react in anger and under the influence of rage, committing violence. We can barely find those who cool down, then reflect, and then gently and symbolically discipline someone rationally as a reminder for improvement. It’s as if we’re talking about perfect beings capable of controlling their emotions and always acting justly. There are few such men and women, and that’s why there are laws and sanctions so that individuals do not take justice into their own hands.
Also, who can believe that relationships between spouses can be improved by force and blows? A person can be forced and endure, but these relationships will not be grounded in respect but in fear and manipulation.
Zajimović further explains: “To strike a woman in the face is forbidden because it is an insult to her human dignity, and moreover, it is dangerous to the most beautiful part of her body. But in no case should one resort to a whip or any other means that would cause pain or injury.” It’s not clear on what basis he derived this interpretation because it’s not present in the text. It’s probably taken from classical commentators of the Qur’an who interpreted this text in a way to limit the use of force. Therefore, men, in an attempt to soften the translation of the Quranic text (4, 34), offer their versions of the strength of the strike, ranging from using a toothbrush to a light strike that supposedly won’t cause severe physical pain or injury.
Instead of such recipes regarding the strength of a permissible strike, perhaps efforts should be made to translate and interpret the text differently, which would leave less room for misuse. Progressive Islamic scholars, both men, and women, translate this qur’anic text differently, and here are some examples:
Author Egalitarian translations of the Qur’an, 4,34 Tradicional translation of the Qur’an, 4,34
Imam Raghib “If you fear nushuz (resistance) from your wives, remind them [of the teachings of God], then ignore them when in bed, then leave them alone, and finally (darabe) go in bed (when they are willing, come back to them).” “And those women whose disobedience (nushuz) you fear, admonish them and send them to beds apart and (darabe) strike them. Then if they obey you, do not seek ways to harm them…”
Amina Wadud daraba… give or set san example
Abu Sulayman Daraba … and then set apart or leave them
Lale Bakhtiar Daraba…Leave them
However, not only do mainstream scholars not find it worthwhile to address this text and offer new solutions, but some also use a hadith (a saying attributed to the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him) to further solidify their patriarchal understanding of gender relations. For instance, the hadith: “If I were to command anyone to prostrate to another, I would have
commanded a wife to prostrate to her husband,” is still quoted in textbooks and taught in madrasas, and some imams repeat it at Shari’a weddings.
This summer, the Imam of Careva Mosque in Sarajevo, Hafiz Išerić, began the wedding ceremony precisely with this hadith, as if there were no other hadiths, such as the follwing: “The most complete believer in faith is the one with the best character, and the best among you are those who are best to their wives.” “Never be violent against women.”
Why do some imams still insist on obedience instead of partnership and collaborative action? In the Qur’an, there is a platform for egalitarian action: “And the believing men and believing women are allies of one another. They enjoin what is right and forbid what is wrong and establish prayer and give zakah and obey Allah and His Messenger. Those – Allah will have mercy upon them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted in Might and Wise.” (Quran 9:71)
Such texts are obviously not in the interest of the ruling elites who produce and disseminate religious knowledge, so they still find it more appealing to insist on hierarchical and complementary gender relationships rather than introduce egalitarian and partnership-based relationships. There are many reasons for this, including outdated interpretations of the qur’anic text, unwillingness of men to seriously engage with these and other issues that need to be addressed in line with the spirit of the context and in accordance with civilizational progress, and finally, women’s reluctance to demand partnership and justice instead of repeating learned lessons about nurturing traditional family, marriage, and child-rearing.
Although there are beautiful aspects in tradition, such as respect for women, the elderly, and caring for others, tradition also includes controlling women and their sexuality, exploiting their capacities, all under the pretext of achieving God’s pleasure. Tradition also involves enduring violence and injustice, an inability to articulate one’s talents and abilities because, in tradition, women are tasked with raising children, serving their husbands, and providing necessary logistics (washing, cooking, cleaning, etc.) for the family’s well-being. Such traditions that burden relationships in marriage and family need to be sieved out and new ones built, emphasizing the dignity of both women and men and insisting on a partnership in which everyone has the right and freedom to realize themselves to their full capacity without coercion, fears, and hiding behind God.
It is also important to reform existing attitudes about women and abolish discriminatory practices of obedience, just as slavery, concubinage, and other practices mentioned in the Qur’an that Muslims no longer practice have been abolished. Therefore, while Muslims were willing to abolish a large number of discriminatory practices, they are not ready to give up patriarchy and still defend it by threatening women that if they are not obedient, they won’t
enter paradise. What kind of miserable individuals resort to hiding behind God and blackmailing women with God’s punishment to make them obedient? Has masculinity declined to such levels, lacking courageous and bold men, like the role models among Muslim men and women, the Prophet Muhammad, who was gentle and consistently warned about a good relationship with women, thus building respect and family relations?
Unfortunately, religious communities in the Balkans have not opened their doors to feminist theology and liberation theology, even though women have been studying theology since the 1970s. Gender stereotypes are perpetuated, and biological differences, which no one disputes, become problematic when used to restrict women to the home and child-rearing. Women are also unwilling to accept egalitarian models of gender relations advocated by progressive commentators of the Qur’an, fearing they might lose acquired positions and be labeled feminists. Some lack knowledge and awareness, while others have both but remain silent out of fear or calculation. Silence is golden for them until violence occurs, then they turn to feminists in safe houses for help.
Although people fear change and critically examining their own tradition and religion, it is essential to work on deconstructing gender stereotypes, ingrained patriarchal interpretations, and norms that impose a woman’s obedience to a man. God does not discriminate among people on any basis; rather, it is people who, in the name of God, pursue their own goals and positions.
Source: https://tacno.net
